By Samantha Schoech, Sunset interim senior editor
Last summer, in an effort to lure my niece out to San Francisco, I may have told Bethany, then five, that in California our streets are paved with candy. I might have also insinuated that out of our taps flows chocolate milk. And now she was finally coming, and although the Hetch Hetchy water that does flow forth from our spigots is very good indeed, I was afraid she might be disappointed in our fair city.
And, we didn’t get off to a great start. Her first words upon arrival? “I want to see the golden bridge!” I winced. “Golden” as metaphor is simply not impressive to a six-year-old who just flew in from Philadelphia to see a 14 karat gold bridge.
In an effort to prevent further let-downs, I planned a frenetically fun itinerary sure to impress the kindergarten set.
Day One
Morning Plan: The Discovery Museum. I had never been but according to all my friends under ten, it is the place to be. I seemed to remember something about being able to dissect owl poop for mouse bones or something--as good a reason as any to take a drive. The outing had the added benefit of taking us across the Golden Gate Bridge, an anti-climax I just wanted to get out of the way.
The Result: With much prompting from mom, Bethany pretended to think the Golden Gate Bridge was cool. No such cajoling about the Discovery Museum was needed. We heart the Discovery Museum. In fact, we joined, right there on the spot. It’s hard to describe why this place is so great but suffice to say that many of the employees seem to play guitar, the views of the city and the bay and the bridge are fantastic, and the cafeteria serves Niman Ranch hot dogs and organic salads. I didn’t, however, notice any owl poop, but like I said, we had a schedule to keep, so I may have missed it.
Afternoon Plan: Swimming in Aquatic Park. Ok, this one was sort of a Tom Sawyer thing. My husband is training for the Tiburon Mile swim and his plan was to swim in the bay while Bethany pranced around on the tiny beach at the South End Rowing Club and our twins ate sand. Fair enough.
The Result: Despite what the members of the South End Rowing Club say, 60 degree water is not warm. This fact was not lost on Bethany, who did five minutes of splashing before deciding her uncle Pete was crazy and giving up the ghost. She discovered the wonders of a nice hot sauna while Pete swam his laps and the twins tried really hard to fling themselves off the dock and into the freezing water.
The real high-point of this particular outing was our detour into Ghirardelli Square and the newly opened outpost of Kara’s Cupcakes. We ordered five: a chocolate coconut with cream cheese frosting, a buttermilk vanilla, two Ghirardelli chocolates and a raspberry dazzle. We ate them. Then we went back in and ordered a half-dozen to go. You know that saying, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels”? Well, it’s not true.
Day Two
Morning Plan: The newly renovated Children’s Quarter in Golden Gate Park. It’s a wonder of sand and swings and slides. Truly the best playground I have ever seen. There’s even a “creek” oozing through the sand where kids can get wet and build sandcastles. Did I mention the historic carousel? Really, the place is cool.
The Result: When I made this plan I was unaware that Bethany, at six, considers playgrounds to be for little kids. “Just wait” I kept saying, with more bravado than I felt (I could be creating another “streets of candy” situation). All I can say is thank god for the cement slides, which Bethany thoroughly enjoyed until she slipped off her piece of cardboard and skinned her knee. Fun while it lasted. And the twins got to eat more sand and master the baby slide.
Afternoon Plan: The Park Chalet. Yes, it’s a bar. But it’s a very family-friendly bar. In fact, the Park Chalet is so packed with toddlers and dogs on the weekends that people have taken to calling it Day Care. Lawn, sun, and house-brewed beer smack up against Golden Gate Park. Bethany even found some kids to explore the woods with.
Result: “Beth, don’t you love that place?” I asked as we left.
“Those kids were only four. It was boring.”
“Well, I thought it was fun.”
“That’s because you guys were drinking beer.”
The kid’s got a point.
Day Three
Morning Plan: The Zoo. Since Bethany has a membership to the Philadelphia Zoo, I had to tempt her with animals we have that they don’t. I tried to convince her she would get to see a heffalope but she wasn’t buying. The new grizzly exhibit and koala bears would have to do.
Result: The koalas were the big hit--cute and close up and yawning. The grizzlies just weren’t big enough to impress her, although I was mesmerized. But she did really enjoy her hot pretzel. I’m not sure what she thought of the petting zoo because I was too distracted trying to keep my children from whacking the poor goats with their plastic rakes.
Afternoon Plan: Back to Aquatic Park. This time to “see the sea lions.” Read: Pete wanted to swim.
Result: While Pete did his swim again, we parted the crowds at Fisherman’s Wharf with our double stroller in order to get to Pier 39 to see the sea lions. We arrived, cold and irritated and watched the sea lions for about five minutes before we turned around and headed back through the throngs. Sea lions are cool and everything, but not quite cool enough to get me back to Fisherman’s Wharf in mid-summer with a double-wide stroller anytime soon. To my mind, and to Bethany’s too, the
coolest part about the sea lions is their proximity to unbelievable cupcakes. Yes. We had more.